I am able to make others happy, but what happiness do I get in return? What rewards do I gain by giving others theirs? To lose something so precious just for my future, is something so horrid, yet, so lucid that it can be seen in one's eyes alone. As our ages grow, so do our responsibilities in life thus the decisions and choices we made will affect the outcome of who we are to be in the future. Everyone has their inequalities but we overcome those by not making the same mistakes twice. I, however, have failed to do so and had made the same mistake over and over again. Depression and madness seeps slowly into my mind, causing a change in my mental and physical state.
I fear the worst has yet to come for me as my mind is made up, permanently sealed by a lock with no key to open it, never to reveal its contents to anyone at all. The only thing I can divulge to others are the feelings I am feeling right now, and the memories that pains me, visions of the past and regrets to choices I had made before. Had I made my choices carefully, I wouldn't be in a constant state of regret and sadness right now, as my moments in life are the only things that keeps me going as well as my future. If I am to live for what I could not see in the distant horizon, then I must make amends to my past and forget of the wrongs I did before. If only I were given a second chance, to go back through time, to right wrongs and to live in a better future, a world where I am able to received my just rewards just as how I grant others their happiness, realising that I am just a stepping stone for others to reach their goal in this current world. To entrust someone with secrets, enables that secret to be spread amongst others who promised to keep that secret alone, who will then spread it amongst their friends, thus making it no longer a secret. That is why, my secrets are best left alone to myself. If only I had a second chance... If only.
Mad, depressed and regret.
kelvin
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